We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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