I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
