The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
