Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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