she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
