im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize