I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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