I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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