Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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