I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You smell like a Billy Joel song
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
