just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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