So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
