Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
