it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
