I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
