I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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