They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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