chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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