Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
