no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
