Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
