i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
