My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
