Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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