You made me cry and you don't even care
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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