I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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