Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
