New invention idea: vibrating tampons
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
