we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
