areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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