Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
