We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
