Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
