I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
even my farts smell like vagina
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this must be what syphilis tastes like
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
