i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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