I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
