you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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