i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
