i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
