man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
