is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
