Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
