His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
