it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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