Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
