fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
