let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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