i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
