Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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