some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
