Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
