Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just high enough for therapy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize