I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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