she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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