I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
operation harelip BJ is a go
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
