I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
