eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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