He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
