youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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